DEXA scan, feeling totally demoralized

I’m overweight BMI, 31F 5’4” 160lb. That’s 15lb overweight, which feels super manageable and within reach. Without other data I felt like the situation wasn’t too bad and could be handled.

Today I got a DEXA scan expecting my BF% to be around 30, maybe up to 35. I’ve always been active, I don’t have trouble doing things, I have no health problems, and I’m only 15lb overweight.

Turns out I have super super high body fat, over 40%. I also only have about 80lb of lean muscle mass. The only good news is I have great bone density.

I’m really, really upset by this. I’ve never been obese by BMI and never had an even semi accurate body fat test before. I feel totally demoralized and like I just want to give up. I can’t believe I let myself get this fat. It makes me wish I never quit smoking, which is what prompted my increased eating and weight gain.

I’m working out a lot including 3 days with a trainer, I’m tracking calories (currently 1400-1500 a day with 6 days hard exercise a week). But this makes me want to throw it all away and just binge eat or smoke cigarettes.

I would really appreciate some encouragement. I do see a therapist and will talk with her about this next week. I know some of my thoughts right now don’t make sense, like feeling I’m the fattest woman alive (obviously that isn’t true). Yep

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