Closing the circle- last step of recovering from bad illness is losing it- all those pounds that are making me unhappy

To make it short, I had a bad sickness couple of years ago. I had a severe burnout and mental breakdown. I was broken. It took me 4 years to get better, found a new job, get me and my family back on our feet, as only breadwinner.

After 2 years I fell sick, I quit smoking cold turkey. I packed on the pounds. I went from not eating to eating away my stress. In my head I still was skinny. Clothes didn't fit anymore, untill this summer we went on an active vacation and i couldn't walk all day anymore.

I started to have severe health problems: fatty liver disease (non- alcohol related), breathing problems, problems on the joints. I went to a specialist, they calculated I have a BMI of 40. I know I am running out of time to change, the last year I tried so hard to lose weight, but I don't make it. I am an emotional eater.

So I hope so much in posting this it will make me motivated to really follow a diet, and start excersising. I hate myself, and I want to change, need to change.

Just I don't know where to start, how to do it. But I don't want to be like that.

It will be like closing the circle,the last step in my healing process. Getting myself back.

Thanks r/loseit for letting me pour my heart out.

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submitted by /u/phoenixreborn75
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