Guilt is making me anxious and I keep sabotaging myself with it. Also lots of overthinking. Need advice.

I've been trying to lose weight using cico for at least 3 years now. My natural habits have gotten progressively better, but I struggle a lot with "fuck it, may as well eat whatever I want" periods. Ive mostly maintained my weight this whole time, which is still an improvement, but I really want to do better.

My intake goal is 1400 a day. It's honestly not that hard for me to do so long as I stay conscientious of it and keep somewhat of a routine. But ive only ever been able to keep to my limit for a little less than a week at a time, then I slip into a week or so of binge eating. Then my guilt makes me try to limit again.

Every time I start to do it again, I get scared and depressed. "I'm afraid im just going to mess up eventually, I always do." I'm not just beating myself up with it, that really is what always happens. It's a bit of a self fulfilling prophecy, I know. And I try to tell myself to take it one day at a time and that I just gotta keep going. But that thought doesn't seem to go away.

I'm trying to plan out a bit of a better routine. I attempted to skip breakfast, which lead to me just eating yogurt for breakfast, then to eating several snacks up until lunch. It's still much better than even I "officially" ate breakfast, though. I binged in the mornings before. I typically eat ~1000cal at work, leaving me with 400 for dinner. Which isnt horrible, but i'd like to leave more room just to give me a little more wiggle. Im thinking of trying for 800cal at work.

Does anyone have any routine suggestions? Or recipe ideas, snack ideas, or any advice to help my anxiety?

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