[Day 1] Not my first day 1

I hate saying I’m on day 1, because if I would have continued on my first day 1 I’d be running marathons like I wanted to do when I was 20. I apologize if the next few paragraphs are just all over the place.

I’m fed up with how I look. In the mornings if I forget something upstairs I just saw screw it and I leave it at home because I don’t want to walk back up those dreaded stairs.

I don’t feel attractive anymore, I don’t feel like my wife is attracted to me. I’m at my highest weight ever (205), which I told myself at 200 I wouldn’t get above that, and at 190 I wouldn’t get above that.

I’ve gained 50 lbs since graduating college in 2015 and I hope to lose those 50 before I start graduate school (which is hopefully next summer).

Here’s to today... I’m off to the gym to start doing cardio again (I’ve always been very weight-lifting driven, but given my current situation I figure an hour of cardio is probably better for my situation for at least the next week or two.)

Any tips, motivation, or just kind words are always appreciated.

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