Hi friends, this is my first post here but I’ve lurked for ages. I recently discharged from 6 months of treatment for a restrictive and purging eating disorder. The good news- I’m doing well! I’m enjoying food again, my hunger cues are coming back, and I haven’t purged since FEBRUARY. I’m really proud of the progress I’ve made for my ED and my mental health. The bad news- over the years, due to Hashimotos, periods of compulsive exercise followed by periods of absolute laziness, and my inability to stick to any form of actual meal plan because I was too lost in my ED, I have gotten big. Obese. Yes, it happens with people who restrict, too, which is a whole other complaint haha.
So here’s my thing- I’m happy I’ve been cleared to exercise! I bought an Apple Watch and have been watching my steps. However, since I was a kid, I’ve been very all or nothing- that’s how I lived in my ED. I’m trying to figure out ways to NOT turn this into an obsession that could send me into relapse. I am being monitored by a team, and my dietitian has been very clear that I have to follow my meal plan still (so yes I can swap certain exchanges for healthier options but I still have to eat a certain amount of starches, fats, etc, no questions). What do you guys tell yourselves to make sure you pace yourselves? Is anyone else in a similar boat of being in recovery but needing to lose? My body is complaining that my lazy ass is doing even the smallest amount of exercise but I’m hoping that will pass as I get stronger, but I just need to figure out how to wrap my head around needing to follow a recovery meal plan while still trying to lose weight to be the healthiest version of me that’s possible.
TL;DR I’m obese and in recovery from 15 years of anorexia/bulimia/EDNOS and just got cleared to safely lose weight, but I need help not turning it into an unhealthy obsession of an all or nothing sort of thing.
Oh and PS I have POTS as well, which can influence how I function, but I try not to let it get too much in my way.
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