Well, I’m trying to be.
Every time I look in the mirror, I want to cry. And I’ve realized that it’s like part of me wants to say “I’m sorry”. To myself, and to anyone who sees me. I’m sorry they have to see me like this. I’m sorry I’m a mess. I’m sorry I’m so fat.
But, no one ever said sorry to me. No one was there to say sorry when my parents divorced and I lost everything familiar to me. No one said sorry when I had to live with an emotionally manipulative, needy, unstable father afterwards. No one said sorry when I finally escaped an emotionally abusive ex-boyfriend. No one said sorry when the only escape I had from anything was familiar comfort foods and hiding in my bed.
No one said sorry to me. And I have no reason to say sorry to anyone now for surviving the best way I knew how at the time. They weren’t there to get me through nearly dying, they weren’t there for the pain and horror and tears. So they sure as fuck don’t get an apology for seeing the outcome. I’m done saying “I’m sorry.”
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from loseit - Lose the Fat https://ift.tt/2w1BBA8
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