Why do I feel shame even though I am hitting all of the targets I have set myself?

Hi everyone. Long time lurker, first time poster here . I am F/25 5'3" and I currently weigh 182lb.

In the last 6 weeks I have strictly followed CICO at 1200 calories a day whilst walking on the treadmill for 30 minutes a day at 2.5mph around 5 times a week. I am happy to say that I have (for the first time in my life!) lost 12lb and a lot of that is due to the information and support this subreddit has provided.

However, I am having trouble with negative thoughts. I am very proud of myself and I have never gone longer than 2 weeks of (what I used to call) "dieting". I feel successful, like wow I am actually capable of doing this! When I look in the mirror (and at progress pics I have been taking) I can see a change. I have milestones I want to reach rather than one final goal weight (e.g. high school weight, pre-university weight, overweight/healthy BMI etc). These goals motivate me however they make me feel as though I am not allowed to be proud yet, they remind me that I am still the biggest I have ever been, I am still that 'fat girl' I've always been, no matter how positive I feel. When I am working out or completing MyFitnessPal diary on target for the day, I feel that buzz of excitement, you know the whole OMG I am actually doing this - but that negative voice will be on shoulder telling me to reserve that excitement.

I hope I've articulated this properly. I guess my question is what do you do to combat negative thoughts? I'm doing better than I've ever done in terms of weight loss and I suppose a lot of what I'm feeling is shame that I let it get this far.

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