Its related to my weight loss goals. Im struggling. Theres a girl i truly love whos not interested. Its been ten years and i still cant move on. I dont know why. I have dyspraxia which means my brain works different to just about 99% of people, so maybe its that. But even trying to talk to other girls doesnt seem to work. I cant get over her. Tried therapy and everything. I even started getting in shape partly at least to get fit so it might change her mind (far from my only reason mind). Shes a beautiful girl, im fat and depressed. Shes always been super nice about it, honest about not being interested. But she dates super successful stable guys. Some entrenpreneurs and athletes. Shes top tier. And it makes me feel so depressed that i cant be that. Dyspraxia also makes cordination hard and muscles weaker. To be honest some days. I love my brother whos all i have left. Hes much older and has ms. We look after each other, but when hes gone, i often consider if ill commit suicide. Im trying to be positive and live. I guess i just struggle to deal with never being as good as those guys. Im 34, a virgin, never been kissed and this girl si the only person ive ever truly wanted. I just dont know what to do. Im still trying to keep positive, lose weight, etc. Just todays been a real real struggle. I know from someone i loved suicide just takes one moment of weakness, too late to take back. I dont know. Im not giving up at all. Just thanks for anyone who reads this, sorry to sound stupid
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