My first post on r/loseit and also on reddit so please be gentle. This is going to be very long.
I'm 38/F, a little over 5'8" and currently weighing in at 209. Seems I've been trying to lose weight my entire life and not always very sensibly. I've struggled with binge eating disorder after being psychologically bullied at school which means combined with my attempts at fad and crash dieting, means my weight has always fluctuated.
In my late 20s I managed to shed a whole load of weight, got my BMI down to normal for the first time in my adult life, but to do it, I did IF with the help of ephedrine. Not the healthiest way but it worked quickly and everyone was so happy with me.
After I met my now husband, the weight crept back on. When we decided to get married, I decided to lose weight again because I didn't want to be a fat bride. This time I tried to do it more healthily, using exercise and a healthy diet. I tried to low carb but because of food allergies, that got old fast. So mostly I exercised. I did c25k, I did strength training, I cut out snacks and junk food except on weekends. I got back down into the healthy category again. Then the weight loss stalled - like fell off a cliff stalled. I was still working out, and eating less but the scale wasn't moving and my measurements weren't changing. I went to see an endocrinologist about some other issues and mentioned the weight loss. Tests didn't show any problems so he said I just have a very efficient metabolism that refuses to use more calories than it needs to and will adjust my body to burn fewer calories if that's what it's used to and my low core body temperature doesn't help matters.
Of course, after I got married, the weight crept back on. We had fertility problems which led to comfort eating and of course binge eating. My weight hit 224lbs. I started running again, got down to 210lbs in about 6 weeks.
Then out of nowhere I developed a chronic pain condition. I was out on medication to mange the pain but a side effect was weight gain. I brought this up with my doctors and got an unsympathetic response. I tried to diet. I exercised til I was exhausted and in pain. I did 5:2. I tried CICO. Out of desperation, I tried a diet involving boiled eggs and grapefruit. All it did was slow down the weight gain marginally. My weight went over 250lbs. I'm not sure what it was at its highest as I was too ashamed to weigh myself. All the while the doctors are telling me I need to lose weight, I'm showing them my MFP logs and they're agreeing it's the medicine, then going back to telling me to lose weight again. I asked for help so many times and just got brushed off. Of course, I reverted to the only thing that worked - IF and ephedrine. Between that and eventually persuading my neurologist to prescribe me something a little more weight neutral, I managed to get down to 195lbs.
Then it just stopped working. For the last year using the ephedrine and caffeine (taking breaks to reduce tolerance) and not eating before 7pm, I yo-yod between 196-203lbs.
A few months ago, I decided this wasn't working so went back to eating more regularly, and trying to make healthy choices (also trying to get the binge eating under control). I went up to 210lbs.
Four weeks ago, I decided to make an effort to lose weight again. Because my weight loss tends to not happen unless I add exercise, I'm doing c25k, I'm doing strength training. My fitbit shows between 15,000-22,000 steps. I'm not calorie counting as such because we cook from scratch at home and we share cooking duties, but I've cut portion size, switched to healthier options and tried not to snack. I haven't binged. The first week, I lost 3lbs. The second week I gained 2lbs. The third week, I gained another 1lb midweek but lost it again, and this week, I gained another 3lbs, and lost 2lb of it - after 4 weeks, I've lost 1lb.
To those of you who stayed with me through that, thank you and I'm sorry if I sound whiny. Any words of encouragement would be welcome here as I'm so discouraged and can feel my motivation slipping.
TL:DR spent my 20s doing stupid crash diets, lost weight using diet pills, got sick and put on Weightgain 4000, lost some weight with diet pills, stopped losing weight. No working my ass off at the gym and am not losing anything.
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