I've lost about 30 lbs since last year- Started at 165, at 133 now, coming up on 125, which was my first goal weight. (I wouldn't complain about 115 but I might look weird, I dunno.) Going off not-very helpful anti-depressants, getting my PCOS treated, and general diet CICO has helped. Trying to stay away from sugar as well since it tends to make me break out.
What had been the true starting point with my weight loss had been an EDMR session, however. I realized part of my weight gain had been an armor, of sorts. It kept me invisible and I didn't have to deal with attention or sexuality or (in some ways) dealing with some of the really vile shit I've dealt with. It was "safe" in some twisted trauma way. At that moment I decided fuck that, I wanted to be pretty and some assholes weren't going to take it away from me. They've ruined enough things for me.
Today, I realized just how close I was to my goal. How close I am to the weight I was when so many of my PTSD related issues happened. I'm "pretty" now. Now I get weird dudes looking at me in Walmart and admiring glances when I go out for walks. It's weird. It's fucking weird. I only started dressing "attractively" recently (in part to hide the weight, in part because I just can't do summers in jeans the way I could as a highly depressed teenager.) and this attention is jarring as fuck.
Has anyone else dealt with this? My body feels weird and alien and too small. Gaining weight because of trauma seems normal enough but I have seen little information on being triggered as it came off.
tl;dr: gained weight BC PTSD, losing weight, cue PTSD
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from loseit - Lose the Fat https://ift.tt/2loXzbk
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