I’ve seen an increasingly common narrative associated with weight loss on this sub and in real life that I just want to address for a quick sec. So many people start their journeys from a place of desperation and shame—and overnight, they cut to 1200 calories, start hitting the gym every day, and waste hours and hours every day doing research on dubious ‘wellness’ blogs on how to cut corners without breaking any “rules.” i.e., as long as I eat at least 1200 calories, I'm doing this healthily.
Some people, through sheer force of iron will, can beat their bodies into submission this way. Many can’t, and when they can’t, they feel even more shame, desperation, and self-hatred. I cycled through this myself for years. Doctors don’t recommend 1200 calories as the bare minimum because that’s the smallest amount ‘average’ people can motivate themselves to sustain; this figure only has a tangential relationship to motivation. It’s simply the bare minimum of calories your body needs to function every day (if you’re a woman—if you’re a man it’s 1500). Only eating 1200 calories a day is PUNISHING—on any body. You can’t outsmart or outmuscle this number.
If you’re desperate to lose weight and lose it NOW, you need to have a serious conversation with yourself about why you need to lose so quickly. Think about it—if the reason is that you know it will be hard, so you want to get the suffering over as quickly as possible, why should you have any reason to believe that you’ll be able to maintain the loss, even if you make it all the way to your goal weight this way? What you're going to find, to your dismay, is that even at your goal weight you are unhappy, ashamed of who you are/"were," still seeing yourself as "fat" (and therefore still valueless) and absolutely terrified of gaining a pound back.
Weight loss does not have to be painful. I was nearly 180 pounds a year ago—pushing obesity—after years and years of trying (and I believed, failing) to bend my unruly body to my will. I went to therapy, and finally learned about mindful eating—listening to my body’s cues about hunger and fullness. Honoring cravings. No “banned” foods. Don’t get me wrong, it was a lot of work and it took a long time to believe it and trust the process, but at last I decided that I was so tired of hating my body, and that I would let my body have peace. At 180 pounds.
And guess what? I accidentally lost 10 pounds. I had completely changed my relationship with food—cravings were no longer all-consuming, I stopped bingeing, I nourished my body with a variety of food that I enjoyed. I stopped having shame. And when I stopped being ashamed, food was no longer the enemy that I must outsmart and outwit and outstand at all costs.
Mindful eating does not mean that you can’t healthily engage in CICO or go to the gym, or lose weight with intention. After those first 10 pounds, I cautiously started losing weight on purpose. The next 30 came off slowly, but without suffering. I have no food rules, I don’t follow a diet, I just try to maintain a deficit every day. Even if it’s just 100, 200 calories. Every day that I am losing ANYTHING is progress. I started lifting, running, and doing yoga—not for the extra calories burned, but because it makes me feel strong and powerful, for the first time in years. I am back in my body, when I spent so many years desperately severing my connection to anything below my neck out of shame and dread.
And now that the shame is gone, I don’t really care how long it takes to get there. My friends and family love me at any size, and more importantly, I love myself at any size. I’m not waiting to love myself until I hit my goal weight. If I want cake today, I’m eating cake today—and I’m not going to punish myself for it later. I’m not waiting for life to start until after I unveil the “new me.” If you’re losing weight because you believe you can’t live your life until you do, look around—life is happening now. Don’t let your weight, or your weight loss, stop you from living it to the fullest.
\*edit:* If you're interested in learning more about intuitive eating, this book practically became my bible. I was so skeptical when I started that anything but sheer discipline to 1200 CICO would change my body, but this book changed my mind. They talk to real people with stories like mine, for whom this was the only thing that finally worked. Please give it a chance, even if it sounds like hokey therapist bullshit.
Also, I can't recommend Roxane Gay's Hunger enough. It was like she was speaking from her soul to mine—that someone was finally being real about what it's like to have an "unruly" body in today's society. Read to feel less alone, and more empowered to love yourself (not in spite of your body. As your body).
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from loseit - Lose the Fat https://ift.tt/2N9Wa5m
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