I've been a long-time lurker here, so I thought I'd finally give in and post my own story.
Around the time of middle school, I began to fluctuate in weight -- up and down by 10-20 lbs or so. Over time, I stopped worrying about my weight, and fell into a perpetual denial of my weight gain. That continued for another four years until late into high school. By then, I was ~5' 7'' and weighed almost 260 lbs. At the time, I was well aware that I was larger than the majority of my peers, but I never really got onto the scale to quantify how large I was. I kept telling myself that I wasn't THAT big, and my refusal to step onto the scale enabled me to continue to live in that ignorant bliss.
Eventually, I finally weighed myself, and I realized that I was in fact THAT big. As a disclaimer, that is not to shame anyone larger than I was at this weight, but I am just trying to emphasize that I always thought I was maybe 10 lbs overweight -- not 100. From the outside, people often are amazed by how someone can lose perspective so easily, but it's actually quite easy--especially when there are few metrics for comparison other than vague estimations of how big someone looks.
Anyhow, I continued for another few months with the attitude of just "f*** you if you think I'm fat--my life, my choice." It took a few months before I realized this was not a function of self-confidence but rather insecurity; it was a coping mechanism for me to try to push back the inevitable truth that I probably should lose that weight.
Finally, one day, I just decided "f*** it. I'm losing that weight." Over the past several months, I had tried various diets to drop a few pounds, but they all crashed and burned as soon as I circled back to that attitude of "f*** you if you think I'm fat--my life, my choice." I personally believe I kept coming back to that mentality because it was comfortable and validated my “choice” to be overweight. Anyhow, I’m not sure what was different about this final decision to lose weight, but it worked – 110 lbs worked. Over the course of the year, which started almost exactly a year ago from this date, I dropped from 260 lbs to 140 lbs (as of this morning).
Funny enough, my success wasn’t because of some magical diet, intense exercise, or fancy weight-loss pill. It was all mental. What I realized was that everything else in a diet (to an extent) is irrelevant if your mental attitude isn’t there. Now, to those that just cringed from that extraordinarily vague statement, let me explain.
Before I start, let me preface by saying I’m a science kind of guy, so when I heard phrases like “attitude,” I immediately assumed it was a load of bandwagon bullshit. And to an extent, I wasn’t wrong; listening to that inspirational song or telling yourself “you can do it!” doesn’t lose anything. But I was missing the point, and I think a lot of people miss the point of it. Being in the right mental state is not about being hyped up, it’s about following a strategy that is long-term and a life-style, not a temporary diet. And surprisingly enough, that simple thing is paramount to consistent weight loss.
In that past, I always started by reading about different types of diets and weight-loss programs, fitting myself up with the latest calorie counters and fancy scales. But this time, I realized I was way over-thinking it. And that over-thinking is why I kept failing; on my past diets, I would follow those online programs word-by-word, but all that obsession over the minutia -- like carbs, protein, calories, and steps -- would overwhelm me and cause me to shut down. So I changed things up a bit; I deleted those counters, threw away all those program guides, and focused on two things: eating less. I didn’t worry about what I ate, when I ate, where I ate, or even how much I moved. I just ate less (to clarify, I mean calorically less). To those that shriek, “BUT YOU’RE TRASHING YOUR DIET, AND YOUR FOOD PYRAMID LOOKS LIKE A FREAKING SQUARE,” I calmly respond, you choose: weight loss or no weight loss, because that weight will not come off if you want me to follow those diet programs.
After a few months, I was surprised, because for the first time, I lost 30 lbs without giving up. I then created a little spreadsheet to document and track my progress over time. I’ll probably post it below if I’m not lazy. This spreadsheet gave me constant reassurance of my progress, and provided that “daily incentive” to keep me going. Over time, I just kept eating less. Of course, I made sure that I wasn’t going hungry or anything, but I would just eat one brownie instead of two, or I would take just a handful of chips instead of the whole bag. As a side note, one helpful thing is to put your food into a small bowl and eat away from your kitchen. You realize very quickly how much you’re really eating, and it gives your body a bit to tell you that you’re hungry. Before, I would down a bag of chips like it was nothing. Now, I use a lot more bowls, but I eat a lot less. Anyhow, I digress. So I basically just kept eating smaller quantities over time, and with that, the weight just started falling off. I didn’t make some magical transition to all-veggies or no fats, it was just less food.
This strategy proved successful, and as I lost weight, I gradually started eating healthier foods, because my losing weight was providing motivation to be healthier. I then started incorporating exercise, and over the course of the year, I fell from morbidly obese to normal. The changes that this weight loss brought were actually pretty phenomenal (to me at least). Just for reference, I'll list a few. Before losing weight I was about size 44 for pants, now I'm 30. Before losing weight, I could do 0 push ups, now I can do 65. Before losing weight, I would be out of breath after running 20m. Now I can run a mile just fine. And to answer the silent question that people contemplating this amount of weight loss often have, yes I did have some lose skin, and no -- hell no -- I would never trade that for having not lost that weight; besides, it's tightening up over time and filling in with muscle.
TLDR; If you’re like me, and you keep failing to follow diets, try to just focus on one basic goal: eat less. Don’t worry about exercise, what you eat, or when you eat. Just gradually eat less. For people like me, I don't really have the mental will to commit to an elaborate diet for an extended period of time, so critique this advice all you want, but I personally would have never lost weight otherwise. Anyhow, this could be as simply as turning that afternoon snack of two cookies into one cookie or one bowl of chips instead of two. This goal is far easier to follow, and it can help people who shut down because of the complexity of many diets. Then, when you start gaining confidence, you can worry about the quality of your food and amount of exercise.
I apologize if there are spelling errors or grammar mistakes; it was late when I wrote this, and I’ve got better things to do.
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