i could detail the story of a girl that has struggled with weight loss her entire life but many people both know and have lived that story. instead i am going to do my best to describe how letting go changed my life.
i don't think about food. not how i used to before, anyway. i don't think about food until my body alerts me that i am hungry. i now know what it feels like to be hungry. i know what food is good for me. i know how to make that healthy food taste good and i enjoy eating that food. i do not withhold the occasional treat or slice of pizza, but it does not rule my life.
this relationship with food is foreign and incredible and scary because i don't want it to go away.
i used to meal prep and while i appreciate that it is a godsend for many people, prepping just made me think about food all the time. googling what to prep next week, wondering what i had left to make, when to carve out the time to prep.. these tiny thoughts dominating my already food-obsessed brain. in addition, the simple act of prepping convinced my delusional self that i was already kinda losing weight because i was putting in effort. the same way you kinda feel like you have already worked out because you joined a gym (or maybe this is just me. again, this brain of mine).
i was exhausted with trying. i was addicted to counting calories but numbed by SO MANY years of counting calories (with little result) that i just stopped and decided that i had to try something different or just accept that i would be this weight forever.
i started to eat when i was hungry. that was it. i stopped planning, i stopped shopping for weeks of food, i stopped counting. i let it go.
this wasn't easy as i honestly did not understand how hungover worked, but i just ate when i felt i needed food. when you are truly hungry, asparagus tastes really amazing. so does arugula. tomatoes are like a treat. and i did not have a desire to binge on vegetables so i would eat until i was satisfied and move on.
my cravings changed. my binging all but stopped (never out of the woods but off the charts improved). i don't buy trash so i don't eat trash. i go out to eat and i eat smarter, but i do not deprive myself.
i stopped punishing myself. i stopped rewarding the notion that food will rule my life forever. i stopped listening to experts. i stopped listening to instagram.
i am slowly building trust with myself and my relationship with food. i work out and love to notice the changes in my body. i get excited working some days, i am honest with myself when i don't want to, but i do it because i understand it will ultimately make me happy.
oh, and i quit drinking. sober nine months - that helps. recovery is amazing. and of course, terrifying.
i am new here but i am so not new here. but i am so glad to be here, posting this with you all today.
[link] [comments]
from loseit - Lose the Fat https://ift.tt/2K95EeU
No comments:
Post a Comment