Insecure about being with my physically fit boyfriend when I am overweight. How do you guys do it?

Hi all. This subreddit is amazing and I’ve been losing weight steadily since July. Sorry if this isn’t the most appropriate place, but this feels like a good support group.

I [23F] met this wonderful [23M] guy who would not stop trying to talk to me all night at a friend’s wedding in October. I am quite shy and I told myself a goal for 2020 was to work on loving myself and losing weight. Not to fall for any guy. I have had so much self hatred for my body that I want to make a change.

Well he and I connected really well and went on some dates and now we are boyfriend/girlfriend. He’s very loving and supportive. I told him from the get go that I am working on loving myself and losing weight. I explained where I am in my journey. He said he supports my journey and has never once said anything bad about my body. He makes me feel great and says I make him very happy. But I still am incredibly insecure that he’s super fit, has dated basically a lot of very fit and pretty girls and I am his first overweight girlfriend.

He says I look beautiful to him and he only cares about the person I am. He said I appeared really confident at the wedding and that’s what drew him near me. I told him I try to fake it but I often want to hide away because I am insecure about my body. He’s reassured me that it’s OK and he knows I am working on it. I don’t bring it up much to him because I just try my best to enjoy what we do have together and let it happen. But I will admit I’ve cried alone because of how scared I am that he is just settling for me. This comes from a long history of no one ever wanting to pursue me because like a lot of folks here, I’ve been overweight my entire life basically. So this is scary and new for me to have a physically fit guy into me.

How do you guys do it? Entering a relationship when you’re not at your healthiest yet? I will not stop until I reach my goal weight. I don’t want to sabotage this at all which is why I try to just discuss it in therapy only but I just want to know other folks mindsets on how they work through this.

Thanks all :)

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