Hi all. This subreddit is amazing and I’ve been losing weight steadily since July. Sorry if this isn’t the most appropriate place, but this feels like a good support group.
I [23F] met this wonderful [23M] guy who would not stop trying to talk to me all night at a friend’s wedding in October. I am quite shy and I told myself a goal for 2020 was to work on loving myself and losing weight. Not to fall for any guy. I have had so much self hatred for my body that I want to make a change.
Well he and I connected really well and went on some dates and now we are boyfriend/girlfriend. He’s very loving and supportive. I told him from the get go that I am working on loving myself and losing weight. I explained where I am in my journey. He said he supports my journey and has never once said anything bad about my body. He makes me feel great and says I make him very happy. But I still am incredibly insecure that he’s super fit, has dated basically a lot of very fit and pretty girls and I am his first overweight girlfriend.
He says I look beautiful to him and he only cares about the person I am. He said I appeared really confident at the wedding and that’s what drew him near me. I told him I try to fake it but I often want to hide away because I am insecure about my body. He’s reassured me that it’s OK and he knows I am working on it. I don’t bring it up much to him because I just try my best to enjoy what we do have together and let it happen. But I will admit I’ve cried alone because of how scared I am that he is just settling for me. This comes from a long history of no one ever wanting to pursue me because like a lot of folks here, I’ve been overweight my entire life basically. So this is scary and new for me to have a physically fit guy into me.
How do you guys do it? Entering a relationship when you’re not at your healthiest yet? I will not stop until I reach my goal weight. I don’t want to sabotage this at all which is why I try to just discuss it in therapy only but I just want to know other folks mindsets on how they work through this.
Thanks all :)
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