Tomorrow I'm calling a treatment center.

I just feel like I don't have control anymore and I'm panicked and scared. I can feel the way my weight is making me unwell and I'm terrified of going outside, I don't want to be seen.

I was treated on and off for anorexia as a teen but feel as if I never addressed my other disordered habit, binging, because I was too ashamed to ever acknowledge it in front of any other patients or professionals. Now I don't really have the luxury of being that vain.

I want to fix myself, I want to be healthy. I'm really hoping that these people can help me, because I'm struggling so much on my own. I'm posting this more in a state of desperation and anxiety, I just need some affirming words that if I don't give up, I can get myself well.

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