I've been sitting at home for the past 2 years, all the while I've been slipping into the bottomless hell known as depression. I was about 77kg(170lbs) then, and now I am 108kg(240lbs). I was probably the most overweight female at my highschool, which prompted my body image issues. I dropped out in senior year, quit field hockey, stopped going outside. I feel disgusted with myself constantly, always uncomfortable, and always wake up with a new pain somewhere. I tried to fix my sleep schedule and then ended up screwing it up harder, my depression that I haven't gotten help for has worsened with quarantine, everything feels like it's falling apart. I just want to be pretty and light and attractive. I did 5 jumping jacks and my knees were killing me, I tried to do a push up and ended up crying on my floor for 10 minutes. I'm so tired of this. I've contemplated ending my life over it multiple times now. If anyone has any tips for a beginner, I'd love to hear them. Thank you.
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