Really scared to start losing weight

I (27F) seriously need to start losing weight of I want to be healthy. I've known this for years and have continually tried and failed to get anywhere at all. In fact, I've gained weight. I've hit a point where I need to start doing something or I might never do it. Problem is, I'm really scared to start. As a teenager, I was severely abused, raped, and almost murdered. After that, I gained a TON of weight. I know it's not logical but I'm scared to lose weight now because the last time I was at a healthy weight, all that happened. I'm posting this because I need some encouragement and advice. I also have no idea where to start. I have a back problem so certain exercises are a bit too difficult. How do I even start to do anything??

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