Hello all, I hope this is the right place to post this.
I'm [F] currently 175 pounds. My goal is to lose my excess fat and build strong muscles. I don't really have a goal weight in mind, I just want to have a flat stomach.
I have gained a lot of my weight rapidly over the past few months - a combination of stress from school, unhealthy eating, a sedentary lifestyle, and birth control led to a rapid increase of about 40 pounds. As a result I have a lot of stretch marks, on my thighs and my upper arms. Here's where the shame comes in. I feel ashamed and disgusting when I raise my arms or wear shorts because the stretch marks are visible proof of my unhealthy lifestyle. And to make it worse, my parents tell me not to wear shorts because my stretch marks are unsightly. I feel like an embarrassment, like a pig in a human's clothing when they say these things. I can't wear longer shorts - I am short, and anything that comes below mid-thigh makes me feel frumpy. And the marks on my arms are visible even with t-shirts. Some days I cry getting dressed, because I feel so ugly.
I have lost 10 pounds since May. I've lost them by simply eating less and going to the gym or taking long (10k steps +) walks 3x a week. However, I feel that I have reached a plateau, and need to be more strict with my diet. The issue with that is calorie counting is a very difficult thing for me to do in a healthy way. I obsess over numbers and starve myself to stay under my total, and have considered throwing up a few times when I overate. I don't know what to do to keep a healthy diet without developing a disorder. I have considered Jenny Craig, as they would take care of the counting part, but I'm scared of bouncing back after I quit the program.
How have you dealt with feelings of shame, and being shamed by family members? And how would you change your diet without counting calories?
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from loseit - Lose the Fat https://ift.tt/2xEx0VS
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