[Context: I went from the low-end of obese to the high end of healthy (super skinny fat) and have been there since 2015 as an 18F 5'5" ~175-180 to ~140-145. My relationship with food is better, but still not awesome. I'm a very emotional eater.
After gaining about 10 pounds since the fall and a lot of personal breakthroughs, I'm finally moving down again and working on getting fit.]
This last week has been very stressful for me. Family coming in from both sides. Wedding. Graduation. Pressure at new job. Relationship and independence changes. I ate almost an entire box of Girl Scout cookies Thursday and another on Friday. I ate so much Friday. Mexican takeout plus the leftovers in the fridge. Too much for two days. Saturday was /mostly/ okay, but still over my calories. Sunday was fucking wash, and so was Monday. You can imagine how discouraging it was :(
I'm trying to get back on track and prep my meals as relaxation time and getting my food plan back in order. I planned on making a veggie stirfry with a light almond butter sauce with soy sauce and lime juice to use up the veggies wilting in the fridge and this jar of almond butter I was gifted but never touch bc I don't really care for it.
The almond butter was super separated for sitting for so long. I stir my best for an HOUR to stir this stuff, dripping oil and almond bits everywhere, trying not to lick it and ruin another day.
I broke and rage scooped the whole effing heap into the dressing. 14 servings of almond butter. FOURTEEN SERVINGS OF NUT BUTTER.
I cry in frustration about the entire week and the shit I've eaten, knowing I've just set myself up for another week of not staying on track.
I come to, plug all the info into LoseIt! to see the damage. I just have to stretch it into 6 servings instead of 4 and I'm right on track.
It's that easy. Just 2 more servings and nothing is wrong.
I'm done treating my stomach as a garbage disposal for instant gratification. I'm done using the feeling of fullness to compensate for feeling helpless, even if I'm not obese. I'm done eating like a fat person.
I can eat the whole fucking jar of almond butter and still change for the better.
I've been on this road for 5 years and am still making major breakthroughs. Please never give up on yourself-- even if you use the whole jar of almond butter, you can get back on the right track <3
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from loseit - Lose the Fat http://bit.ly/2VTEseq
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