So I'm 5'5" and have struggled with my weight since I was 14. I'm now 32. I have two insane kids (fairly normal I think) but my husband has now been deployed for the second time this year. First it was a 6 month deployment where I thought I could drop weight but was in a very toxic environment and a bad mental state, and ended up gaining weight.
How at my very highest of 213lbs, I have no distractions (minus my kids) to derail me from my goals.
So why can't I start? I have struggled for the past month (my husband has been gone for 3 weeks now) just to get into the flow of life without him again. I know that if I don't get up at 5am to exercise and have "me" time, I won't have any time later in the day or have time to meditate (one of my goals). I just started sleeping through the night. No kids waking me up, no tossing and turning. Finally sleeping.
When I get home or when dinner is ready and the kids are asleep I have that "night binge" that I can't break. I can do awesome all day but as soon as the kids are asleep and the house is finally quiet, my mind goes totally blank and I just consume like Kirby.
I don't know how to break this night binge. I don't know how to get my ass up in the morning at 5am. I don't know anyone else in my life that deals with the same issues I do and I'm so socially awkward that I can't make new friends because I am self conscious of myself and my life ( there have been opportunities to do so, but I just shy away or just don't engage people).
You would think at 32 I would have my life together. I would know what I'm doing. I totally don't.
I don't want to be supermodel thin. I want to be comfortable. Low 160s high 150s is where I want to be. If I go lower, so be it. But that was my comfort zone 4 years ago. My body didn't revolt in every piece of cloths I own. I didn't feel like shit every day, but I also went though 2 child births and some hard times and came out through on the other side 60 lbs heavier. I couldn't lose weight without kids, what really makes me think I could lose weight with them?
Ugh... I really dont know where I am going with this. I just need some support.
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from loseit - Lose the Fat http://bit.ly/2QybM4M
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