How to keep myself accountable??

Hey friends

I've been "trying" to lose weight for a while now, always off and on and trying different things.

For some reference I am a 19 y/o female college student weighing around 230-240 lbs at 5'4" I am decently active physically, it's mainly just my eating habits.

I've tried myfitnesspal, but found that after a week or two of being good about counting calories and not going too much over, I would either give myself cheat calories that i wouldn't count, and after a few more weeks of cheating more and more just give up all together. In the last 2 years or so I'd say i've had the same story with MFP about 4-5 times.

I also tried meal prep one week, but i still found myself snacking way too much and that didn't work out.

I've been trying the weight watcher app for the last few months, I was successful for the first few weeks but essentially ran into the same exact issue that I did with myfitnesspal.

How do I keep myself from hitting that wall 2-3 weeks in and fucking everything up? It's not like I don't have shame about it, I honestly hate myself every time, yet it keeps on happening

How do I keep that control?

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