About a year, the future had looked so bright. I was starting to get my health in check and i had lost 30 pounds (going from 355 to 325), all thanks going to my little sister.
Despite being raised in an obese family, she had never once had issues with her weight. She was the poster child for perfect health and she was starting to teach me alot about nutrition and was even kind of my personal trainer at the gym. She was a year younger than me but i never really viewed her as a little sister. she was always such a mature young women, i kind of viewed her as an equal (and sometimes even a superior tbh).
Last year, she and I were hit by a drunk driver. I walked away with just a slight leg fracture, she lost her life at the age of 15. Her life was robbed from her and I feel guilty about it everyday.
I do feel guilt over failing to protect my little sister but most of my guilt is over the fact that I lived and she didnt.
Like i said, she was the poster child for physical health. She dedicated herself to running 7 miles everyday and eating only clean and lean foods. I played video games for 4+ hours a day and stuffed my face with dorritos, and yet, i lived longer than her?
On a random twist of fate, i was the one who was rewarded the longer life? It just makes no sense.
Whats even worse is that over the past year, i have completely squandered my second chance. Because of my injury and massive depression i have gained 120 pounds over the past year and am now 455.
Believe me, if i had Thanos like power to switch sides with my sister, i would do it in a heartbeat. But i know i cant, so, all i can do now is honor her legacy by finally getting fit and by gaining all that weight, i feel like im just spitting in her face.
I dont really know if theres an afterlife or a heaven or anything like that, but if there is, i just want my sister to look down and be proud of her big brother.
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from loseit - Lose the Fat http://bit.ly/2HHrAhx
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