I'll start by saying that i am obese. I weigh 254 lbs (just 10 lbs under my highest weight ever) at the age of 23 and height of 5'4". I've basically always been overweight, i don't remember a time i haven't been. I was raised on pizza, ramen noodles, kraft macaroni, basically instant meals or hotdishes that were 90% pasta and sauce with a canned veggie mixed in. I literally have no memory of my stepmom feeding me salads or fresh veggies. Usually she would say "queen-of-cat go put a pizza in the oven ". I've done a few diets (mostly dabbling in cico), usually losing about 30 lbs before somehow quitting.
Recently my boyfriend mentioned wanting to get a bike, which i thought sounded super fun. I'm lazy as hell but part of me does like to go to the gym or go swimming. So i bought a bike and started planning to bike places this summer. Even asked my manager about where i could lock my bike up at work. I've been really excited about this, especially since my boyfriend wants to be a part of it. Usually he games at home while i go to the gym alone or with a girlfriend if i do go.
So this morning i woke up early, and i decided today i could start biking. I figured i could bike to school and catch a ride home after class with my friend. We have the same schedule and she drives a van, so why not? I put on workout type clothes and packed clean ones to change into once i got on campus.
I got my new bike outside and got off to an okay start. Made it about halfway up the hill by my apt before i started really getting winded. I powered through for a few minutes, but after a few blocks i was really not doing well. Pouring sweat, gasping for breath, exhausted. I got off and walked a little before i started feeling sick. Like vomit coming up now sick. I sat on a big rock and dry heaved a couple times. As i was sitting there i started feeling incredibly ashamed. How the hell did i let myself get here? I barely biked for 10-15 minutes. I only went a few blocks, not even a freaking mile. Couldn't even make it up a small hill. I can't even bike a mile without feeling sick.
This was it guys. My real moment of truth. I've half assed diets before, I've made posts on lose it about being inspired, but i haven't been so overwhelmed with shame before. Today I am going to log every calorie. I have a food scale and a counting app, and know the drill. I'm only going to drink water. And I'm going to take my first before pic (something I haven't been able to bring myself to do). I think I'll pick up a fitbit too and see just how many steps i am getting a day. I also joined that Wizarding world challenge going on here!
Today I'm going to choose life!
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from loseit - Lose the Fat http://bit.ly/2TYml0Q
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