I thought I’d been doing pretty well. Most of the time, when I looked in the mirror, I thought I saw a relatively good-looking guy staring back at me.
But tonight, I went out with some friends and I realized I was lying to myself.
I was hitting on a woman when friend took a video of me (in good fun, I think, there’s nothing malicious about it at all as far as I can tell), and looking at myself in the video, I felt so fucking disgusting. I still look fat. I still look ugly.
All of the confidence I had with the girl flew out of me like air escaping a balloon. I gave up.
I’m at home now, and thoughts of suicide keep running through my brain.
I’ve been losing for a year now. I just want this to end.
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from loseit - Lose the Fat http://bit.ly/2XtaAlf
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