I'm not even sure I want to post this. It's exposing and makes me feel super weak. But I've lurked on this sub since I started my account, and even made a post here once. I'm not able to hold myself accountable, and I'm not sure who else to reach out to, so here I am asking for help. Some backstory to follow, since I don't remember what I posted before.
A Planet Fitness opened in my hometown in late January. I got a membership when they announced that they were building it. Even got the black card with the extra perks. When they opened, I was going 5 days a week. Planned on setting up an appointment with the personal trainer to get a more personalized plan set up. Then work happened. I got a promotion at the beginning of January (manager at a gas station, such a glamorous life), and my assistant quit a few weeks later. I had to work 7 days a week. At first, I was doing really well working and still going to the gym. Then my gym buddy said she needed to take a break as her husband was also working 7 days a week and she was having difficulty keeping up with the kids, household duties, her own job, and the gym. Without someone to meet up with, I felt like it didn't matter if I went. It's been over a month, I'm still paying for the membership, and I have yet to go back. I'm now back to working 7 days a week as I'm understaffed, but want to figure out how to ease back into a routine.
I bought a Fitbit Charge 2 when they first came out. I have since snapped the plastic in the connectors for the bands (thanks work), and have been unable to afford a new set of bands. Haven't worn it in almost 2 weeks, and I'm feeling naked without it but also know I didn't use it the way I should've been. I set up a goal, but didn't track my food and ignored the reminders to get my hourly steps in.
My boyfriend moved 8 hours away at the end of March. My birthday was a week later. My daughter will be 7 next month, and I don't want her to grow up like I did.
I'm in this apartment all alone, with no one but myself to hold me accountable for what I eat or whether I go to the gym. I'm afraid that I'm not strong enough to do this on my own. I have conceited motivations for losing weight, but also health driven reasons. But because my weight has yet to affect my health in the ways that it did my parents when they were my age, I'm lacking serious motivation.
I'm not sure what to do at this point. I'm tired of being miserable, tired of crying when I look in the mirror. I don't remember the last time I weighed myself, and I'm afraid to do so. Since this community is so welcoming and full of advice from people who have been here, in similar places, or are here now, I felt the need to reach out and ask for help. Any advice anyone can give is welcome. I'm terrified, but I know I need to do this.
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from loseit - Lose the Fat http://bit.ly/2PjnUG0
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