Hey loseit,
This is something I've been thinking about for a while so I'm wondering if anyone has gone through the same train of thought.
I have never been a normal weight my entire life. I'm 26F and I remember being 130lbs in 4th or 5th grade, 170lbs towards the end of middle school, and when I got my driver's license when I was 20yo I remember lying on the application and putting down my weight at 240lbs because I knew it was higher. In my last years in college (2015), I was at my highest weight of 303lbs.
Now, I'm at 265lbs and my lowest was 250.
There are so many things I want to do and see, but my weight has either physically or mentally stopped me from experiencing them. I think about hiking to beautiful mountain peaks, trying to surf (I'm SoCal born and bred so I've always wanted to try!), traveling more without the fear of my feet swelling and being in major pain from walking, or even just having enough stamina to bike around the beach with my friends.
But because I've never experienced being a normal size or being an active person I can't imagine myself ever being this person that I dream of. It's like I've dreamt it for so long it really does feel out of my reach. It literally feels impossible. I feel like those who have gained weight for whatever reason dream of going back to how they were and they are driven by the memory of how good they looked or how they felt at that weight, but I don't have that. This is the me I've always known. It's the only person I know how to be.
I don't think I'm the only person who feels this way, but I don't have anyone in my life who would understand this so I thought I'd share it here. Thanks for listening!
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from loseit - Lose the Fat http://bit.ly/2DucNFE
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