So yeah title basically.
A little backstory: I (27M/83kg/1.84m) lost a lot of weight 6 years ago when I went from 110kg to 75kg. Did it by exercising and adjusting my diet to proper foods during the week and 1 pizza on saturday as my only fastfood. It did the trick for me and I lost the weight in about 6 months.
As these things usually go I gained a bit of weight during the years and I'm currently at around 83kgs. I'm struggling and trying but the motivation to lose those kgs again just isn't there. On top of it I'm having serious problems with portion control again. In the past I used to binge on 3-6 bags of crisps on a single day but I managed to cut that out. It made me feel horrible and I've even gotten therapy to deal with some of my underlying problems causing me to overeat.
Sadly though I'm falling back into old patterns. I ordered groceries today and my initial order was fine. Some meat, veggies, pasta, fruit etc to get through the days, nothing special. But in the end I adjusted my order and added 6 bags of crisps. I thought about it and I think the main reason I did it because I found the rest of my order so ''dull''. Nothing exciting, foodwise. Just things to get through the day. Upon receiving my order I did what I always did previously.. Opening a bag and going for the bottom asap. About halfway in I felt disgusted with myself. I hated what I've become again and my immediate reaction was to grab all the bags, open them and empty all of them straight into the bin. It gave me so much relief, I could cry. It's a waste of food and a waste of money and I feel really sad about it, but I'm so happy I didn't go through with my binge eating like I used to do.
Anyway, I'm not sure what I want from this post. First of all I just needed to get this off my chest because I felt horrible. Secondly I'm so afraid it'll happen again. My main motto the past few years has always been ''if you don't buy it you can't eat it'' but even that seems to fail now. I really need to change my relationship with food again it seems. I want to look forward to an apple or an orange just like I do with crisps or chocolate but it's such a battle.
If any of you have any helpful tips to change your relationship with food I'll be happy to read them.
Thank you and have a great weekend!
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from loseit - Lose the Fat https://ift.tt/2FC0fMy
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