We got married several months ago in New England. It wasn't a huge wedding, we had about 50 people. Because of my size, I didnt feel comfortable wearing any dress but a modest one. I was stressed the entire engagement because I didn't want to look at the wedding photos after. I was so embarrassed of my size honestly, no matter how much I told myself to love my body, or told myself that I'm beautiful at any size. I definitely did not feel beautiful.
My issue with weight has always been a difficult one. I struggled my whole life with bodyweight issues. I was always small, if a little bit chubby. I'm 5'3, so a pound looks huge on me. My whole life I was between 140 and 150 lbs. I was on a lot of sports teams (tennis, swimming, equestrian, and kayaking).
And then college happened.
I started college at 148 lbs. I ended graduate school at 282 lbs.
So, many years later of bouncing back and forth between 250 and 285, we had this wedding. As a gift, a family member bought us a honeymoon (I KNOW) and by all means we were teetering on being poor. This was a huge deal for us. They bought us a honeymoon at the Cliff House in Maine. I think our room was probably between $800 and $1,000 per night.
It was a dream. Except that the hotel had these lovely plush blue plaid robes. My husband spent the entire weekend snuggled up in one.
It didn't fit me. If I held it tight enough against myself it could close just barely. It wasn't comfortable, and I was very upset by it. He ended up buying one, and he wears it all the time. Every time I see it, I am reminded how beautiful and luxurious our honeymoon was. And I am also reminded just how big I was that I could not fit in a robe.
I started losing weight this year around Valentine's day. Since, I have lost close to 20 lbs. I'm almost at the weight I was when I met him. Not that he cares, he tells me every day how beautiful I am.
So, today, while he's walking the dog, I get curious. I try it on, thinking it's not going to close.
It closes! It opens up a little bit around my hip area (I've always had ginormous hips), but I can wrap it around the top of my body like you'd normally wear a robe.
I waited by the door for him to get inside from walking the dog. He opens the door, and I say "It fits me!"
He gave me the biggest smile and hugged me :)
[link] [comments]
from loseit - Lose the Fat https://ift.tt/2CHFZZm
No comments:
Post a Comment