Keep sabotaging myself

I do pretty well calorie wise Monday to Thursday. Friday is hit or miss. Then the weekend hits and I try to enjoy my one cheat meal of Chinese chicken and broccoli. But throughout the day I eat other nonsense. Sunday isn't great either.

This keeps making me gain and lose weight but for some reason I can't stop. Especially when I go home for break from school. That whole week I ate nothing but nonsense. But anyways the problem is that I always end up "missing" certain foods even after I promise it'll be my last time in a while. One week I'll miss a burger, next week I'll miss burritos, next week I'll be craving pizza. The problem is that there's always some food that I haven't "had in a while" every week. Because of this, it never ends. I really want to break this cycle. I've been going from 243 to 255 for a month now back and forth. And I can't get past 242. Before that I lost 20 pounds in a month. What could the issue be? How do I stop sabotaging myself?

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