I got my wisdom teeth removed yesterday. Now I'm sitting at home since yesterday and with all this doing nothing I have so much time to think. And after all this thinking I needed to write a few lines down.
I've always been the big one. And the cruel thing about it is that my BMI always just scratched the "overweight" line. So I've never been like unhealthy overweight or obese. I just always carried a few pounds more than the other girls. It was like that in kindergarten, then in elementary school, etc. The thing is, I was never left out or something like that. I always and still have good friends, even within the popular girls. But what mostly disturbed me, that they always just ate just like me, when we were hanging out. Getting a pizza and a coke, no worries for them, but somehow for me. Partying every weekend, all of them drinking and having fun and then there is me in between with a glass of water, because I'd immediately ruin my progress otherwise.
And this is what my rant actually is about: I hate it that there are people that can eat and drink whatever and how much of it as they please. And I know that you can always argue with "You don't know how much and what she eats when you're not there" or "Maybe she's a total fitness freak and actually burns a lot more calories in a day than you are". But what if I tell you that after a few years of knowing some of these girls, I know that they are just like me in every other way. Watching Netflix the whole weekend and going to the kitchen is the only movement these days. Eating a whole chocolate bar in one sitting because why not? Still eating normal breakfast, lunch and dinner. Hating salads, so they'd never trade a normal lunch or dinner for a salad. Doing absolutely no sports at all.
And then there is me, being on CICO and IF, having two meals a day, drinking only water and unsweetened teas. And still, even though I lost some weight, I look nothing alike them. And I also won't look anything like them at my goal, even though one of them is just my size and 133 pounds is what she weighs.
Last summer (when I actually started losing weight) they kept asking me to come to the beach, hang out a bit. I always found a way to say 'no' because I was so ashamed of my tummy. And don't get me wrong here. I don't hate them in particular. I love those girls. I just hate the fact, that having those perfect bodies with flat a flat stomach seems so easy for them. I'm really envious. I know there's more to life than having a perfect body. It's just that for once I'd like to have a body like theirs without thinking even once about what I put in my mouth. Why are they blessed with it and not me?
[link] [comments]
from loseit - Lose the Fat https://ift.tt/2XYqxkm
No comments:
Post a Comment