Being the fat nobody in high school and college cuts deep. My self esteem is also a pile of shit and it shows. I've tried to dress nice but fat hanging over a tucked in dress shirt looks good on no one. Even seeing myself in the mirror makes me cry on dates. Never being able to fit nice clothes and sit with confidence. Nobody even looks at me and I've never been invited to a party. I've gone to bars and drunk emotionally after never being able to dance with someone or talk to anyone. I've even tried to plan suicide after one night being drunk and ended up crying on the floor for hours. I've once swiped on over 600 girls on tinder after buying the gold membership after breaking up with an ex and besides bots only a few girls swiped back who never messaged me. It hurts a lot. This is my pain inside, has caused me to spiral into depression and affected important relationships and most of all my relationship with myself. I'm really sorry for the pain I've caused me. Blahhhhh!!!!!!
WELL FUCK THAT BULLSHIT!!! After years of going to the gym and failed diets, today marks the first time I have truly ever done CICO or any diet for a matter of fact in my ENTIRE LIFE for a week straight, and I lost 3.6lbs too!!! I'm 233 and my goal is 175. I'm not fucking stopping no matter what happens. I don't give a fuck about my emotions, my cravings, my anything, this is mine!! I want this! I need this!! My entire life I've been obese since I was a kid and I have always wondered what the world is like on the other side. This is it!!!!!! runs on a mountain and shouts across the world while using my Thor powers to summon thunder
PS- To the person who called me fat in 11th grade at lunch, to the girls who ghosted me on dates leaving me hanging at restaurants, to the PE class boys in 9th grade for making fun of me for not being able to do a single pull up and being obese, fuck you! I'm gonna be on fire baby!!! I'm going to be like the fucking phoenix force for this part of my life and most of all I'm gonna leave your old raggedy toxic bitch ass in the dust, I'm throwing these memories and them with it in a safe and dropping that bitch off in the arctic waters of the south pole with a farewell message saying, I ain't doing this for you, I'm doing this for me! Because it is my TIME!
I'm sorry it was a tangent I felt needed to be done. So yeah I'm doing CICO and it's day one second week, off to a good start.
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from loseit - Lose the Fat https://ift.tt/2W8x9uM
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