Everything jiggled.
I'm 28, it's the second time I am losing the weight
My highest weight was 190lb in 2005 maybe.
I got down to 135lb in 2007 and was at a similar weight until 2013.
I packed on the pounds slowly aver five years and by 2018, I was at 170 lb.
I lost weight a second time. I am now at 127lb.
I am my lowest weight ever. BUT. I look old. I AM 10 years older than the first time I lost weight but I didn't expect it.
There's a lot of loose tummy and cellulite on my legs. Lot of jiggles when I walk. I wear leggings all the time, so I never noticed jiggles until I went to shop for shorts. I look old when I look in the mirror. There's no youth on my skin and I have lost a lot of roundness on my cheeks which make me feel older.
I tried on some shorts yesterday and I hated how I looked. And legs are my best feature, I used to feel awesome in shorts even at a higher weight.
And all I can think of is that I am going to abuse my body again when I have a child in a couple of years. :( Again putting on and losing weight.
I googled a bit and looks like I have to go gymming, build muscle and trigger autophagy with IF. I don't want to IF. :( I want to learn to be happy with my body. I treated it as a project and checked off most of my goal boxes. Weight, BMI, waist circumference, blah blah. I am glad I am fitting into smaller sizes. But I look a lot older in different clothes.
I was never into these things so much ever. I never noticed my skin in the mirror. Is it because I am older and youth is slipping? Or because I am slimmer and more vain? Sigh. Am I having a midlife crisis? Is this temporary?
It just made me really sad. Does anyone have stories to share or kind words to help me cope?
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