I’m tired of being this size, and I’ve finally decided to try and do something about it by logging and limiting my calorie intake. I’ve set myself a perfectly achievable goal of ~1600 a day, and intend to stick to it.
The problem is, every time I shop for food I go into panic mode. Everything is either too many calories or not something I’m in the mood for. I spend ages staring at virtually identical products trying to choose, and end up choosing neither. My mental health has always been pretty terrible, and constantly thinking about what I can and can’t eat, and how much I’m allowed, isn’t doing me too much good.
Back when I was a teenager (14/15), I had what I guess would be an eating disorder. I never ended up underweight, but became very uncomfortable eating in front of people. I only ate when I absolutely had to, to keep appearances up in front of my family. I lost a lot of weight in a short period of time, but still wasn’t happy with my body.
I don’t really know how that stopped. But a combination of eating “”properly”” again and stopping regular exercise (I quit my rowing team to focus on exams) caused my weight to skyrocket. Between the ages of 16 to 19 (now), I put on a crazy amount of weight.
I’m 5’8”, and back then weighed around 135lbs. I’m now somewhere in the region of 200-220lbs. A combination of university work and depression stop me from getting active, which doesn’t help my body image whatsoever. Or my physical and mental health.
The teenager part of me still isn’t able to process how I can lose weight healthily. I still get intrusive thoughts about binging, purging and heavily restricting. There’s an all or nothing feeling that I can’t shake, and it really fucks with my head even when I try and do this the right way.
I need to lose this weight, and I want to do it right so I don’t gain it all back. But I don’t know if I have the mental strength for it. Is this something that gets easier with time, or is there anything I can do to help myself? Any advice is greatly appreciated.
[link] [comments]
from loseit - Lose the Fat https://ift.tt/2OnxLu0
No comments:
Post a Comment