Hello there r/loseit !
I am absolutely new here and am so glad I've found this subreddit. As long as I remember I wanted to lose weight, wanted to be thin and athletic "like the cool kids". But only thoughts don't make you thinner or healthier, so I just focused on my brains instead. This was followed by a change of thoughts. "Those gorillas always doing their sport, they're all dumb f*cks.". I had to excuse myself "Well, I am not fit and healthy bodywise, but I am the most fit brainwise!". That excuse always works for some time, yeah I may be fat, but at least I'm smart. Being smart does not negate being dumb. And I was dumb. I totally was. I always stuffed myself. As a coping mechanism? Because "I'm already fat, so who cares.". Or because of my mental health issues? "Yeah, I have to focus on being right in the head again, then I can focus on working out." Excuses, excuses, for such a long time.
But I am unhappy with how I look. I am unhappy I have to take a breath when I walk up the stairs to my appartment (12, a total of 12 steps, come on!). I am unhappy because I can't ride everything in the amusement park as I am too big for the seats or I am out of breath to get to another attraction. I am unhappy because I don't feel like a human sometimes. I look into the mirror and only see that lump of fat.
But that had to stop. Last week I stumbled across a Day 1 post on here. And I decided to screw it, let's start this. I always was a fan of liquid meals, so that's what I started with. I ordered a starter packet from my most trusted manufacturer and the first time in forever onle ate a salad that evening. I downloaded MFP. And was discouraged. What is my actual weight again? I haven't stepped on a scale for nearly a decade, so I just estimated what could be the right weight. 110kg / 220lbs seemed about right. And if I am off by a few kilos, who cares? I still gotta rock and I will do it! So this past week I read a lot about CiCo, work outs, cooking and so on. actually managed to be under the 1,850 cal MFP told me! Yeah, that was easy! I can totally do it!
But with the motivation to do something arises the need to be prepared. So I ordered some new work out gear (I don't own any sport shoes or the likes), a kitchen scale is already owned, so yay for me. And of course the bathroom scale. I was so happy, because finally I can track my progress! Yeah, failures, they do happen but not to me.I mean, I have started, I show some good will, so good news have to come, right?
The scale arrived today, complete with tracking and body fat measuring and so on. I want to make friday my "scale" day, because why not. I started this on a friday and it's just another day. But curiosity got the best of me and I decided to weigh myself at work (encouraged by my cw, who is absolutely behind me). And stared at the numbers in shock. I was off a lot with my guess of 110kg. It may be because I wore my clothes and just finished my lunch, but that would've just been a small off.
126,9 kg / 280 pounds.
Nearly 17kg more than I thought. I realised I did not just estimated this, I was sure as hell. Honestly that kinda crushed me a bit. But still, before I knew it I already managed this one week! Another one will do the trick! Come on me, you started, don't give up now, you haven't even reached anything yet!
Yes, it is way more than I thought, but still, I wanna do this. So I started looking for new recipes, I changed my starting weight in MFP and I am so ready to go. I talked a lot with my sister, who wants to lose weight as weel. 12kg / 50lbs. And since I started this week, she wants to as well. She told me I wasn't always fat. Actually as a kid I was quite skinny, I only started gaining weight in my teens. And that gave me hope, so much hope.
And so my sister and I made a promise. When I turn 30 in 2022, we both want to manage running a half-marathon. Not winning, just taking part and finishing. Running, not walking. We will do it, I'm sure of it.
So, r/loseit , this is me. I just started, but I wanna make it through. I have to defeat some of my inner demons and my stomach, but I'll make it. And I promise you, I'll post that picture of me running a half-marathon.
Starting facts:
SW: 127kg / 280lbs
GW: 75kg / 165lbs
H: 172cm / 5.6"
26 years old.
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