I'm sure there are tons of posts like this, and so I guess, in the end, this is mostly for me. But I feel like if I make this post, maybe I'll hold myself accountable? I'm terrified of falling off the wagon. I'm terrified of being complacent. I don't want to accept my body and my current health situation as my permanent reality, so something has to give.
Some context: I'm 23, female, 5'0, and currently around 220 pounds. A year ago, or really the end of 2017 and the beginning of 2018, I gained about 80 pounds in the span of... 4, 5 months. Fast. It was the worst period of my life. I was incredibly depressed, and I binged to drown it out. It didn't work, I binged more, repeat. I love food. I've always loved food. When food is the only thing that gives you pleasure, when it becomes your coping mechanism, there's a problem. Food doesn't fill any voids. Food doesn't make you less lonely.
Excess food, like more than you need to live, just kind of makes you bloated and more helpless.
I tried to lose the weight all of 2018, and I think I only succeeded in putting a little more on (I was 215 the beginning of 2018). But I know I fell on and off diets, that I binged when I was sad and feeling hopeless, and that there were times I was too utterly defeated to change anything actively.
I'm ready now.
I went to the doctor a few weeks ago. I'm prediabetic. My father is diabetic, and obese. He can barely walk up the stairs. His feet go numb. He gets sick constantly. He feels awful, he's miserable. I won't let that be me.
So, I'm on the keto diet. I joined the gym. So far I've stuck to it, and even though dragging myself to the gym feels like absolute torture sometimes, I've done some pretty good workouts. It feels good. I feel good.
I won't let myself be complacent anymore. If you don't like something, change it, right? So here I go. Goal weight for right now is 150 (I like starting with small, achievable goals!), but ultimately I'd like to be around 100-120ish pounds. I haven't been that weight since I was 11.
Fingers crossed for me. I might need it, but then again, I might not.
TL;DR: Obese girl gets diagnosed prediabetic, comes out of a depressive slump, decides now is the time for change.
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from loseit - Lose the Fat http://bit.ly/2G45Hut
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