I had a pre-employment physical today. I had to get on the scale for it. I wasn’t even aware of the physical part of this as I though I was just coming in for a TB test.
So I’m wearing a long HEAVY hoodie sweater dress... and totally annoyed with it and the “extra pounds” that will show up from it. I figure at least I can take off my shoes. If it were in a different area I would have asked to take off the sweater dress, but I was being weighed in an area where there were a few people around so that wasn’t an option.
The nurse was very nice and told me she wouldn’t tell me the number if I didn’t want. I stood on the scale backwards. And she asked if I wanted to know and I said “is it under 200?” She said “do you want me to tell you?”... I kinda start to freak out and she’s not answering me so now I know it’s OVER 200 still (rolls eyes). At this point I’m like sure tell me. It’s 205. She tries to help me by saying well you’ve already ate, no I haven’t, but thanks. I explain that I’ve been losing weight since Dec and KNOW I’ve lost weight, I just thought it would have been more. Then again, I really don’t know where I started either (weight wise).
So I’m feeling a little discouraged and a little motivated...
Discouraged because I was really HOPING I’d lost more. I knew how detouring that number would be if I wasn’t were I wanted or expecting. I know I have a ways to go... now I just now how much further. I was so tempted to BINGE today saying fuck it...
Motivated because I now know what I weigh and can start weighing myself again regularly to track progress. There is a certain level of accountability in knowing where the number is now and the 65lbs difference I hope to see. I basically have 65 reasons to keep going!!!
I’m going to stay on track, knowing I’m not where I’m at, but better than I was and on my way to the weight I know I can be.
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