I ate it in secret, away from my family. But as I munched away while hiding in my room...I realized it didn't matter that they didn't see me do it. Because I still did it, I knew I had done it and the evidence will show on my body later.
The weirdest thing is that I felt nothing from it. I got no satisfaction from the donuts. I just ate it from the habit of overeating as my way of searching for comfort. I didn't even feel like I wanted to eat it. I was almost forcing myself to finish it because it's what I felt I had to do.
I realized that I was overeating for no reason and wishing away my dreams of the perfect body and skin for a 22 year old, in exchange for some sugar that I can have at any point in time of life. I've missed out on a lot of things in life for too long just because of my weight. So many experiences I could've had. Experiences that I'll continue to miss out on if I let things continue as they are.
I've been struggling with weight issues since I was 3 years old. It's wrecked my self esteem, social skills, and happiness along the way. I'm sick of the yo yo dieting and I'm sick of feeling ugly every day. I'm sick of not being able to fit into cute clothes. I'm sick of feeling like when I put on make up or do my hair I'm just trying to dress up an unattractive elephant. I'm sick of being unable to take pictures or videos with family or friends because I hate what I look like.
All because of my addiction to sugar. Today I want to officially kick the habit. I have a bad habit of trying to change my eating habits and breaking within the first week because of something sweet. Then starting over and falling into the same disappointing cycle. I don't want this to be one those cycles again!!
February 5th, 2019 is the day I start to break free.
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from loseit - Lose the Fat http://bit.ly/2Gp732b
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