I think my story is pretty classic: I've tried and failed to get into a healthier lifestyle more times than I care to remember. I was always chubby-ish growing up but I was skinny once, back in 2010, following some health stuff. It wasn't a healthy kind of skinny and I've slowly but steadily been gaining weight over the past 8 years. I'm currently weighing in at 19st 5lbs / 273lbs / 123kg and I've had enough. I'm depressed, I'm constantly tired, my confidence (which once was sky high and seemingly untouchable) is in my shoes.
Today I went to a shop to try and find something nice for a family dinner this weekend, and maybe something to wear for christmas. I don't shop for clothes often, since I work a lot and don't have much of a social life so I pretty much only wear work clothes and pjs. However, it was something I always enjoyed when it did happen. But today, I couldn't bring myself to try a single thing on. I couldn't even pick things up and bring them to the changing rooms. I was convinced everything would be too small, look horrible, and remind me further of how far I've fallen from who I was. I couldn't even try shoes on! I ended up having somewhat of an anxiety attack and left.
Enough now. I'm done with this, done with hating how I look, done with only wishing I had the confidence I used to. I miss that person, I want her back. I have other issues than weight (ie mental health) but I will start, and I will start today. I already went to the gym and powerwalked 5k, and I downloaded MFP and made an account. My partner is apprehensive because I've promised to do this so many times and never followed through, but I know we'll both be happy when I prove him wrong this time.
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from loseit - Lose the Fat https://ift.tt/2QfmBvr
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