I'm a 19 year old student in my second year of university. When I was in high school i was well over 220lbs. May of my senior year I finished my exams and started running daily because I felt like I had nothing else to do. I did that all summer, I would run, and I ate a bit better, since my parents were out of town and I had to cook for myself. Which just means that I could eat healthier -- both my parents were/are obese and aren't receptive to "diets". And with them out of the house I could diet and work out freely and without judgement.
All of this to say that between May 2017-September2017 I lost around 20lbs.
Then I started university. After losing 20 lbs I was still overweight. And then my exercise started to falter. I didn't run or workout as much, because I always felt that I had other important things to do. My diet wasn't the best, but I still managed to keep the 20ish pounds off. For the first year. I was frustrated that I wasn't losing more, but I was also proud because I hadn't really gained.
Last summer I tried to run everyday and work out more, especially because I had gender reassignment surgery coming up and knew that I would feel better recovering if I lost another few pounds. And so I lost between 3-5 pounds. This September I had surgery. I was stuck in a recliner, and walking to the bathroom was enough to drain me. And I wasn't allowed to exercise for 6 weeks, and I was reliant on my parent's cooking. In short, I gained those 5 lbs back. Still 20 down from high school, I was upset but I thought I could live with it.
Once I was fully recovered I thought that I would get back on track and lose more weight. I can be shirtless now, and I want to look better when I'm shirtless.
But it feels like life had other plans for me. Between school, people dying, exams, my dad passing away in the middle of my exam period, and 100 more bullshit things, my life has been a mess. I didn't even get a break from school over the holidays because most of my exams/final assignments got pushed to accommodate my father's illness and passing. Since my life has been such a mess I've a had a hard time getting on track with healthy eating and exercise. It's been 100% my fault for taking the easier and unhealthy route when life got hard -- but I gained another 5 lbs.
I'm ashamed of myself and disgusted. I mindlessly eat junk food, and drive up my calorie intake, simply because it's easy, and some junk food is a comfort. And now I feel gross about myself again, and it feels like the surgery was meaningless because I don't like how I look shirtless. There is a lot going on, and I am feeling a lot of things, but one thing is clear.
I need to do better. So, here I am, back at day 1.
19, 160 cm. SW: 204.5 lbs GW: 190lbs for now. A game design student/part time waiter to pay the bills.
If anyone has any tips to deal with stress eating, or words of encouragement for when you feel like you're backsliding, I'd be glad to hear them. I plan to be more active on the sub, now that I feel like I am committed to losing weight again.
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from loseit - Lose the Fat http://bit.ly/2RukmV7
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