Today, I stepped on a scale for the first time in several years. The hand swung all the way around to a whopping 297lbs. I felt an overwhelming sense of disappointment and shame. I have no one to blame but myself for how much weight I have gained in the last several years. I have been overweight my entire life, and at this time in my life I am obese. I'm not confident in my looks. Fat jokes are often made at my expense. I am constantly tired and have low energy. I turn to food for comfort. As someone in their early twenties, this is not how I should be living my life.
So today, I am making a change. When I stepped on that scale, I made a vow to myself that by this time next year, I will have reached at least 197lbs. I realize that this is a huge hurdle, but I believe in myself and my abilities. I have calculated incremental goal weights and deadlines to reach them in 2019. Tomorrow, I am going food shopping for healthier options than McDonald's or other fast food joints. I've started changing my relationship with food by beginning to see it as a form of nourishment only instead of a place to find comfort in my sorrows. Instead of rewarding myself with ice cream when I hit my goals, I'm going to buy myself small things like earrings, purses, makeup, and other things that make me happy. I'm not going to continue eating after I'm full just because the food is available to me, which is something I struggle with a lot at restaurants.
I guess what I was aiming for with this post was a place to spew out my thoughts and keep myself accountable. Some words of encouragement and advice would be appreciated as well! I can't wait to come back a year from now and tell you all about how I crushed my goals. I know that there will probably be bad days where I fall off track, but I think it's all about staying focused and realizing that just because you slip up, you don't have to throw in the towel. Every day is a new chance to get back on your path. Thanks for reading if you've made it this far. Wish me luck!
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from loseit - Lose the Fat http://bit.ly/2Alqe9c
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