"Oh, but you're not fat, you don't need to lose weight."

Hi everyone,

I felt the need to get something off my chest, and I thought posting here was a good idea and that some of you might be able to relate.

I've been trying to lose weight on and off for the past three years or so. I'm not massively overweight or anything, but I've definitely got too much chub to be able to call my weight healthy. I've slowly gotten fatter over the past few years, and so much so that, for the first time ever, I do not feel good when I look at myself in the mirror. My partner also agrees that I've kind of lost control over my body.

Now, I don't go around claiming that I'm trying to lose weight or am displeased with my current weight, but I will not make up excuses if a friend is asking why I'm not drinking or why I'm not having a slice of cake, for instance. This, however, almost always results in the same infuriating reaction: "Oh, but you're not fat, honey! You don't need to lose weight, you look really good, you're just curvy, that's all," or something along those lines.

It's like everyone constantly feels the urge to remind me that I'm pretty, that I'm loved despite my weight. I appreciate the thought behind it, I really do, but it's kind of a toxic thing to say IMO, and it's part of why I failed so many times in the past few years. When all you hear is that you don't need to lose weight, you end up believing it, no matter how determined you were when you started your weight-loss journey.

I'm angry and annoyed, and I suppose I just wanted a place to vent. If some of you have tips on how to deal with situations like that, please don't hesitate to share them.

Thanks for your time, and I wish you the best on your own quest. :-)

submitted by /u/Guiboulou
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