Hello everyone.
I've been a frequent reader of this sub for a while now. It helped me to stay motivated and stay on track with weightless. Its my first time posting and I dont know what to do with my problem and dont know how to keep moving forward.
I finished my Highschool in July of 2016. My weight was fluctuating from 198-209lbs(90-95kg) at that time. I stayed home and played video games all day everyday after finishing my high school. Pizza was my main thing and I ate it almost everyday. If not pizza there was always something else to feel the void like hamburgers, candy, sweet drinks etc.
My highest weight was 242lbs(110kg) last year - 8.2.2017
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After that I decided to lose weight. I failed again and again and eventually gave up.
Started going to the GYM. At the start I felt really motivated but after three or four months I gave up and started eating a lot of pizza, sweets and everything that comes with it.
My weight before I quit was around 198lbs(90kg).
From February(2017) last year till July(2018) of this year I gained a few pounds back but I still felt really bad about my physical appearance. I was depressed and had a huge social anxiety.
I wanted to try again. One more attempt at loosing weight. I wanted to make a change in my life for the better. Thats why I started running. I waited till 10-11pm so I can go out and run and there would be less people who would stare at me and my obese body. Also cut out all sweet and fatty stuff from my meals.
After 2 months of running everyday I kinda got sick of it. I knew I was doing something right because I lost weight but I just wanted to play games all day.
Thats when I came up with the idea that I should just eat less so I dont gain the weight back and I'll be good. So I can play games without exercising.
I ate normal lunch and for dinner I had mostly fruits and yogurt. I kept on playing games and sticking to my low calorie diet.
Now its December of 2018. Im at my lowest weight ever 141lbs(64kg).
Im 20 years old turning 21 in a month. Hight: 5'11(180cm)
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Im now in collage and I still love playing video games. But the problem is that Im mostly still eating 2 meals a day. One of them being fruits only.
Im just really scared of gaining all the weight back. I'm also really full all the time. I just cant eat a lot of food. It makes me feel sick if I eat a Lunch and then someone offers me food 2 hours later.
I still dont eat pizza or anything sweet. I dont know what its about the sweet things but I just dont think about them anymore. When I see other people eating them I dont even get cravings anymore. But pizza is still my weak point and I really struggle every time I see it.
What I ate today:
Lunch:
-2x Toast(2 slices of bread for each, chicken breast salami, cheese)
-Salad
Dinner:
-2x Apple
-2x Tangerine
-1x Banana
I barely ate 1000 calories today and if I ate more I'd feel like I'm going to explode. I should be eating a lot more to maintain my weight but that sounds like a lot(1700-1900 calories). I dont really want to lose anymore weight but the idea of eating more makes me scared and sick at the same time. What if I fall back into my old habits and start ordering pizza again everyday..
Thanks for reading & have a nice day
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from loseit - Lose the Fat http://bit.ly/2BLSYbe
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