I'm not here to lose weight. I keep track of this subreddit because of some of my beloved friends and familiars who happen to be overweight or obese, and many stuff here helped me to help them. I learned a lot in this sub on how to make a overweight person feel supported, and for that I thank you.
But I'm not personally overweight, actually due to several digestive issues, I'm pretty underweight sometimes. That's what I'm not talking here, though. I want to talk about binge eating and how it's, in fact, a serious disorder - and that you are not weak for falling for it.
So, well, I have a self destruction problem and reading this sub I realized how much binge eating is similar to my situation. Self harming sometimes is different from what is seem in the movies, and in my case is specially different. I don't intend to hurt myself, I don't go to a bathroom and take a razor to cut my wrists. It's something that just happens - and when I realized that it happened, it's mostly too late. It's mere impulsive attitude and I normally have no concious control over it. And I'm not even autistic or some stereotypical thing people think about. I'm pretty "normal", if I can say such a thing.
For example, when I'm too stressed, I tend to bump my head against the nearest wall. I also punch my own chest or head, what sounds pretty pathetic, but had lead me to needing to hide bruises constantly. Once, I was studying and sticking and cutting my legs with the metal spike of a bow compass, just realizing what was going on the moment someone asked me why were my legs bleeding so much. For that, I have scars that will never leave me and even though people say there's no reason to hide my body, how can I show those to the world without feeling shame?
Sometimes, I realize what I'm doing in the middle of a destructive process - and sometimes, I keep doing it anyway because, you know, I'm here already, I fucked up already, what else can I do? But want to know the best part? It's just sometimes. Not most of them, because I'm getting better and better and better and, eventually, I'll get cured. There are cures.
You probably already realized what my point is. I have a problem that needs to be handled by therapists, a depersonalizing disorder that is dangerous for my health. Just as binge eating. Everytime you feel ashamed because you lost control, understand that you are fighting a bigger fight than just eating. It's a hard problem, with a hard but very fulfilling path to a healthier way. And if you have the ways, seek professional help - no one would ever look at my case and say that it's exaggerated to envolve medic care. Why would then be ok to dismiss your suffering as something smaller? Impulsive and compulsive attitudes can lead to big health issues and health - physical, emotional - is our biggest good. It's what keep us living a good life.
So that's it. Take care and keep fighting. You are all so strong already for trying.
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from loseit - Lose the Fat https://ift.tt/2Ql5pF7
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