There are a lot of areas in parenting that we don’t feel like we’ve got it all together. Either we can’t see where we’re messing up or we don’t want to fix where we’re messing up because we’re tired.
But there are a few areas of parenting where we know we’ve got something good going.
Here’s one of those things:
Whenever our kids ask for something (or whine or beg or plead), our answer is always, “You can earn it.”
They’re always allowed to work for what they want. If they NEED a new backpack, we’ll buy that. But if they WANT a new backpack, they have to earn it. They have to find out how much it costs, tell us that amount, and then ask to do various tasks to earn it.
The other catch is that when money is tight for us, they’re going to have to work harder than they would’ve before to earn that item. This week, our heater went out so that unexpected cost is changing our budget for the next couple months.
The kids all expected to go to the store Friday, but I told them we’d have to wait until Monday instead.
That’s normal. That’s life. It’s really important for them to understand that life doesn’t run on expectations.
It gives us an opportunity to talk with them about how sometimes we work really hard for fun items, but then the money we earned goes to an emergency. It also gives us an opportunity to help them understand that the only way to get the things we want in life is to work for them (or wait until our birthdays come around, haha).
One hangup we had in the beginning of this idea was that our kids would earn a dollar and immediately want to go to the store. Then we’d end up in a crying battle at Walmart because nothing worthwhile costs a dollar, and we’d all go home frustrated. We also found ourselves at the store ALL THE TIME.
They eventually discovered the Dollar Tree, which helped for a little while, but then they realized they were just getting piddly little toys over and over again. They were working hard all week long, but never getting that big toy they wanted.
Eventually, experience taught us to change one of the rules.
They were allowed to “work” whenever they had free time, but they could only “shop” on Fridays. That’s an easy day for us, and it prevented over-spending and too much time commitment. Then, at very least, they’ve saved up around $5 each week, which is significantly better than spending $1 over and over again.
It also must be said that we don’t pay our kids for every chore they do in our home. They each have set chores that they have to do each day that they don’t get paid for. That’s just their rent, so to speak. Ha!
For their everyday jobs, the littlest one feeds the cat, the middle one feeds the dogs and waters the plants, and the biggest empties the dishwasher.
To earn extra money, we give them jobs that we genuinely need help with at the time. Sometimes, I’m behind on laundry and having little hands to put things in closets/drawers saves me a lot of time. Sometimes, I’m frustrated that leaves have been tracked all across the living room, but I don’t want to expend the energy necessary to clean it.
Other times, I don’t have any chores to do, but I know that one of them could use some extra practice in a school subject. Our oldest right now is struggling in math so she’s doing extra minutes on that to earn money. However, yesterday, we worked on some of her homework together and that DIDN’T earn her any money.
For me, homework doesn’t count, but extra school time does.
We also reward for having good attitudes. Most of the time, having a good attitude is expected, but sometimes, I like to surprise them with a, “Hey! Good job saying okay right away when I know you wanted to argue. Here’s an extra 50 cents.”
It keeps them working hard in hopes of earning something good, plus it gets them in the habit of making good choices. It also doesn’t break my bank because I don’t have to shell out money every time I turn around.
So that’s what we do!
That’s how we broke the begging cycle in our house, and we hope you can use it or modify it to help your family, too.
Now, if anyone has any good ideas on getting kids to enjoy brushing their teeth, let me know. Haha!
Happy parenting, friends.
from Psych Central Blogs https://ift.tt/2pVhSj1
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