Starting over 30lbs heavier.

A few years ago, while I was still in college, I managed to lose 30lbs. I went from the high 150s down to the low 120s. I looked great, I felt great, I was working out regularly, and I loved the progress I made. At that time, I was also a graduate student, smoked regularly, and was passionate about healthful eating and had my eating under control.

It's now three years later. I quit smoking nearly five months ago, I'm back in the 150s, and I'm miserable. Ever since I quit smoking, my appetite has come back with a vengeance; I am finding myself not making the best choices, and I'm having difficulty keeping hunger at bay. I haven't gained 30lbs in 5 months; it's moreso been a slow creep over the past three years. I also struggle a lot with mental health issues (currently in regular treatment with a therapist and medications), and I sometimes can't get the motivation to get out of bed, let alone get even a small walk or workout in. My boyfriend is a gym rat, and we've explored and done small hikes, but not as much as I would like. He says I'm beautiful and that he loves me the way I am, but sometimes I don't believe him.

I want to get back to a place where I can be happy with myself again. I'm finding it so difficult to get that momentum I had three years ago back; I logged 500+ days on MyFitnessPal, logged my food religiously, made great choices, and it was effortless to shed the weight. Now, I can't even seem to wrap my head around dropping 5lbs. I just feel so lost.

submitted by /u/one-eye-deer
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