Everyday I am constantly conscious of my weight. Whether it is just walking with arthritis in my knee and ankle from being overweight my whole life, or seeing myself in a picture someone else took and feeling so embarrassed that that is what people see.
As far back as I can remember I have been overweight and extremely self conscious. I wear a tshirt with a button up shirt opened up almost every day because I think it hides my fat. I avoid cameras, and more and more I am avoiding people.
I used to be really outgoing. I was overweight but people always liked me and I had confidence around people.
After getting divorced a few years ago and taking physical custody of my two boys, my day to day mainly consists of hitting snooze 3-4 times, get them to school, working a job I do love, then picking up my boys and tending to them until 9: o’clock, then me time on the couch till about midnight. Its the same everyday, and while I am so thankful to be a dad and to be able to take care of them, that day to day is basically all that I am. And its a mountain to climb for some reason to create more active habits outside or running them around.
I feel terrible everyday. My body hurts, I feel sour stomach and bloated all the time no matter how much or how little, or what I eat. I am 36 years old and feel like my quality of life is really crappy. If I allow myself to look at pictures of myself or think about how everyone around me is skinnier and more genuinely happy, I can really fall into a really low place.
I really cannot pinpoint why I cannot get and stay motivated to loose weight and maintain a healthy life style. Like you more than likely, I hear 50 ways to loose from 50 sources, I get hyped for a couple months then fade back to the daily rut, and I tell myself that I don’t eat any worse than all the skinny people around me. Many times when eating out, I pay attention and I do not eat worse or more, but I am always the fattest. My brother eats a bag of candy, a bag of chips, and like 2-3 cokes a day and is probably 100 pounds lighter than me!
I would really like to connect with those that have been here, those that have overcome and lost the weight, and those going through it that need accountability. I have never made it public and have always tried to do it own my own; like anything I do as I either feel embarrassed or like a burden.
I’ve really gotta do this...
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from loseit - Lose the Fat https://ift.tt/2NYDZ5P
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