The title says it all.
I’m a 21 y/o female, 5’7 and 158 lbs. By no means am I overweight or even tipping the scale - in fact, I know from an outside perspective I look healthy. But I am not.
For as long as I can remember I’ve desperately wanted to lose a couple of pounds, preferably make it to around 140 healthily. The only problem is that I have a horrible habit of binge eating at night. Most of this is due to smoking marijuana to help my anxiety.
I know the best fix would be to stop smoking, but it is the one thing that has helped me immensely in living a semi normal life and I’d like instead to break my habit of overeating ever time I get high. I eat very healthily during the day and RARELY snack, it’s really only at night. I won’t lie and say that my boyfriend isn’t a slight influence. It’s been kind of a ritual for us to smoke and then have a snack. Problem is that I snack TOO much and while he has been instructed to stop me if he sees me starting to eat to much, I’ll somehow sneak it. I feel disgusting.
Last night I had half a bag of popcorn and at least 15 cookies. It’s four am and I’m wide away with a slight stomach ache. I KNOW what i have to do to change my lifestyle in this way but I feel so hopeless. I have no self control. I have tried CICO but I always end up not tracking my calories after a few days and just not doing it at all. I lead a busy life and am on my feet a lot but that is not enough. I feel like BECAUSE I know I’m not overweight, because I can look at myself in the mirror and not feel gross that I just let these binges slide. I still look fine, so what’s the harm?
So, Reddit, my question is HOW can I just bite the bullet and freaking do this? How can I keep myself disciplined? How can I stop my unhealthy habits long term? I’ve been lurking for years and now I feel like it’s time that I reach out for help, as upset at myself as I am. I need to be held accountable. I need something that works for me.
Part of me knows the answer is in front of me. So, I guess I’m more wondering how to follow through with everything I need to do?
Sorry for the rambling. It’s 4:15 AM and I’m wide awake. I needed to get this off my chest.
[link] [comments]
from loseit - Lose the Fat https://ift.tt/2wzkR4f
No comments:
Post a Comment