My boyfriend and I met in a class like 5 years ago. I was in an abusive relationship at the time and we ended up adding each other on Facebook.
My abusive ex boyfriend used to go through my phone and delete messages and contacts and unfriend guys. For whatever reason, my current boyfriend never got unfriended.
So anyway, from a combination of the abuse (he used to beat me up and gaslight me and cheat on me and all kinds of other shit), my mom always being extremely critical about my body and looks, I found comfort in food and blew up to 220lbs at 5’6”.
Eventually, idk where it came from but I found the strength to break up with my ex and cut him off completely. I basically sent him a letter in the mail breaking up with him and blocked him in every way I could.
The last thing he did was a small thing, but it really was the straw that broke the camel’s back.
Randomly and I mean out of absolutely nowhere, my current boyfriend messaged me on facebook two weeks after I broke up with my ex suggesting a restaurant to me and then eventually asking me if I was single and if I wanted to meet up at the restaurant.
(He really didn’t know I was in a relationship and broke up because I never post anything on Facebook other than pictures of animals I think are cute)
This was pretty shocking and flattering to me because my ex had spent the last 3 years telling me how fat and ugly and stupid I was and I honestly believed that no one besides him would ever want me. So it was flattering, but I was in no place to date anyone and told him that.
He accepted it but we just never stopped talking and we became extremely close.
Eventually we became FWB’s and I loved it because he really made me feel like I was attractive not just physically, but as a person too. He would constantly force me to talk about consent and what I wanted or liked (I mean forced in a non bad way. It’s not like he yelled at me or made me have conversations I didn’t want to, but for example he was very firm about making sure we both consented and was very inquisitive about what I wanted. Which was a breath of fresh air and shocking because he was a virgin and the other two people I had sex with didn’t give a fuck about any of that)
He’d also lost a ton of weight (he’s the one who told me about this website and this subreddit). He lost 150lbs! So he would never mention my body or my weight other than saying about how he loved how I looked but whenever I’d tell him about how unhappy I was with my weight, he’d offer to cook and workout with me.
So we slowly started going to the gym and cooking together and this all snowballed into us eventually dating. So here we are now years later and I know I’ve lost a lot of weight because I had to buy new clothes and I weigh myself multiple times a week. So I knew I’d lost weight and my body had changed but it never clicked until this morning when my boyfriend got a phone call telling him he’d got his dream job.
He was so excited he came running into the kitchen and picked me up and spun around with me and was telling me what happened.
I was worried at first that I was too heavy for him to hold like this even though he’s pretty strong but then I realized we were having an entire conversation and he was still holding me like it was nothing.
I even asked him at one point, “I’m not too heavy for you?”
And he said, “what? You’re barely noticeable.” And then just went on talking about the new job and how we have to move.
In that one moment it finally hit me just how different I am now than I was before. In my last relationship I was constantly miserable and constantly hurting. My ex would yell at me and blame all his problems on me and call me names and at one point he tried to hit me so hard that when he missed he put a hole in the wall.
Now I’m fit and healthy and happy and I graduated with honors and I have my dream career and I’m not nor have I ever been scared of my boyfriend. I guess it’s shallow to not realize all of that until I got picked up but still. This is my truth ✊🏻
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