To start out, I am seeing a therapist, but she's checked out lately. I can't really get a new one since I'm low income and she helps just enough to keep me out of depression hell, so I'm kind of stuck on that front. I'm formally diagnosed with Major Depressive Disorder and Social Anxiety.
Right now, I'm struggling really hard with my own self hatred. Something my parents instilled in me. It's keeping me from losing weight because I get started, I get motivated and then I hear my parents and siblings telling me I'm just a fat piece of shit, why bother? I can't seem to silence their voice. I've had panic attacks about it, my therapist just says 'ignore it' but honestly, I can't seem to tune them out.
I want to lose weight, I'm 34 and it's only going to get harder, but how do you tell those voices off? How do you convince yourself you're worth it? My friends have told me they like me, and think I'm great but I can't convince myself that they aren't just saying it... because it's happened before.
It also fuels my slight agorophobia, making it hard to go out and exercise because i think the world will just laugh at me too. :/
Being fat is fueling a portion of my depression and anxiety and I know if I could find ways to like myself and encourage myself it would help but I just don't know anymore. I'm in Iowa (US) and other then Weight Watchers (which I can't afford and honestly don't think is terribly helpful anyhow) there's no support groups that I would even feel comfortable going to :/
[link] [comments]
from Mental Health https://ift.tt/2KsqCW7
No comments:
Post a Comment