I think my body positivity is making me care less about my body and my health. (F20, ~180lb)

I've been chubby for me entire life, and I've struggled with a lot of self esteem issues and self hate in the past because of it. It took me until 2 or 3 years ago to really feel comfortable with who I am and to love myself, curves and fat and all. I've gained more weight since then, about 20 pounds. And I still love my body, but I'm starting to notice things I didn't before. I'm starting to get a bit of a double chin. My face is rounder than it used to be. I can feel my thighs and my butt spilling off the sides of the chair when I sit down and that's never happened before.

I'm anxious that "loving my body" has turned into "caring less about my body." I don't hate myself, and that's a massive improvement, but I'm not actually taking care of myself in the way that I want to. I'm addicted to sugar. I'm a binge eater. I'm lazy as hell. I want to take care of myself, but when I already claim to love myself, why would I change anything?

I know I need to lose weight. I want to lose weight. It's not as much as some of the incredible transformations I've seen here, but I know I need to lose at least 40 pounds and that's such a daunting task. How can I start changing my mindset about loving my body from accepting it the way it is to actually taking care of it? And where do I start taking care of myself again? Thanks for reading xx

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